A Good Ole Wyoming Sunset

I remember the first time I really to my core appreciated a good sunset. If you have ever seen a Wyoming sunset you might think I am crazy. Don’t get me wrong they are gorgeous but I myself am more of a star/space kind of gal. Anyways the first time I really was in awe of a sunset to where you truly just had to pause and sit in it was with my dearest sister Emily. We went on a quick four wheeler trip to one of our favorite spots but along the way we stopped on the side of the road. There was a perfect spot for just us so, we took the opportunity. 

We pulled over because Emily, she loves, and I mean loves sunsets. So naturally we stopped to take it in. At the time I did not feel quite the same way about them, which to each their own, I honestly wanted to get the the intended destination. But we parked, we sat, and it hit me. I looked around and was mesmerized. All I could think of was, dang. That’s it no other words, God probably hates(we all know he doesn’t) my descriptive words because they do not do his work justice. I finally saw what Emily’s been seeing in every sunset, the beauty of the rich orange and warm colors, the bit of blue and purple, the clouds, the mountains…that really did it for me. I mean I was speechless, that day I did become more of a sunset gal but the stars will always have my heart. It was beyond beautiful. 

As I was writing my training camp blog I was having the hardest time putting all what I experienced into words, after last night and the majority of today this memory hit me again. So I scrapped everything I wrote and here we are. What does this have to do with training camp? While I was at training camp I had confided in one of the mentors of some eating habits I have had since forever and how overwhelming big they were getting at camp. The previous night while I was there, I left the fire we made to make myself throw up because “I had ate too much”. Something I have been doing on and off since I was around 14. She listened to all the things and we both decided to do a surrender prayer. Which I have never done before but at this point I was desperate to get rid of habits that have had a hold on me for so long. 

During this guided prayer I think she asked how God viewed me, something along those lines. After we asked God that question or one similar, I was brought back to that memory. I could vividly see my Ropers on the four wheeler while we sat back in amazement, having one of our very deep chats, just living our best lives. I could see the sunset, the mountains, and the trees, everything that made that sunset perfect. That’s when I heard it, not an audible voice, but God saying I made that sunset and its good, it’s okay, but you are far more beautiful than that sunset. The way I felt about that sunset, that moment, was nothing compared to how God felt about me. I couldn’t help but sob, I tried to tell all what God was showing and telling me but I was so overwhelmed with his loved and peace but I could barely talk. 

Training camp was great and I’m sure I’ll get more into the details of everything else I learned in a later post. This sweet moment though is something I will forever remind myself when I am feeling not beautiful, when old habits want to come back, and really when I feel like God hates me. Which I tend to feel more often than not, now knowing, actually knowing and feeling that He’s not mad, disappointed, upset, the feelings of I am not good enough or worthy to even pray to him, he doesn’t want me. I could go on and you can insert whatever lie you’ve believed, but to know He sees that sunset and says that is nothing compared to how much I love you, that is nothing compared to how beautiful you are, to know that this is just an ounce of how He loves us. Dang.