How The World Race Changed My Life, And Then Ruined It.

Well, where do I even begin? Before I left Cheyenne, I remember telling a friend that I wasn’t going to change or come back as a different person and he had nothing to worry about. Fortunately I was wrong, I didn’t know how much baggage I came on the Race with and I’m not just talking about a big pack and a day pack. It was October at training camp that the Lord slowly started to show me what this journey would entail. 

I came on to the Race with 21 years of hurt, sin, and strongholds. I’ve been open about my eating disorder but that only scratches the surface. Throw in drugs, drinking, guys, girls, greed, and really any other stronghold you can think of. When I read the story of the prodigal son I relate it most to my testimony. I grew up in the church, a good family, yet I chose to turn from God and live life how I thought I wanted to. 

I’ve been debating about how deep I wanted to go into my testimony. I mean my mom reads my blog and there is a fear of disappointing my family. A fear of people knowing things that I’ve done that I’m ashamed of. So I will write this and pray about keeping it in. Before the Race I struggled with:

• An eating disorder 

• Porn

• Smoking weed, coke, and other psychedelics 

• Drinking 

• Sleeping around 

• Greed 

• Lying 

These are things I’ve struggled with for years and even up to when I left for the Race. From elementary school until January I thought some of these things were harmless. Truthfully I thought if I just asked the Lord to forgive me all would go away, but the reality of my sin was heavy and real. My choices had serious repercussions and impacts on my life that I hadn’t faced until I started sharing my story and realizing how my depression, anxiety, and health problems were all connected. 

Starting in Guatemala until Kyrgyzstan I had freedom session after freedom session. A freedom session is basically listening prayer with a lot of forgiveness and healing. You start by worshiping, getting right with the Lord, and praying. Throughout your time in prayer, someone who knows how to do them asks you questions and is praying with you. They ask prompting questions and you listen, personally or I see pictures and words. From there the Holy Spirit leads and you forgive yourself or others and get rid of things that are holding you back from God. I did not rely on them to get rid of my problems and there were times I did not want to do them. They have allowed me to dig up old lies I’ve been holding on to about myself or others. I’ve been able to heal from different sin patterns I’ve had. Overall I’ve been freed from a lot of hurt and strongholds in my life. 

Not all of my friends and family are toxic but I did have a very unhealthy relationship. On the Race, I’ve learned about feedback and conflict resolution. Feedback is holding up a mirror to people and showing how they reflect Christ. Or encouraging them where they want to grow. Relationally this has helped me grow the most and love others better. I’ve used this example before, feedback is like when someone has something in their teeth. You want to point it out rather than letting them walk around like that. 

The Race has completely changed the way I see and love people through feedback and living in community. It has allowed me to learn more about the Holy Spirit, the spiritual realm, and how to live in community. The Race has completely changed me as a person, I walked in with a hard heart and walked out with a heart that reflects more of Christ.

It doesn’t stop with a heart change though. The Race didn’t just change my life it also ruined it, in the best way possible. I can never go back to how I used to live, even down to the music I listen to and what I watch. The way I speak to and about others has changed. I used to gossip and at times I spoke to people harshly and out of anger. I can’t any more. I’m slower to speak and I’m more intentional with my words. The Race ruined the appeal of my old life, God showed me that it was dark and depressing. Truly it was sad and very lonely, but after a life with Christ I have been redeemed and I can never go back to who I was before. 

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.”
??Ezekiel? ?36:26? ?