It’s Going To Be Great

Hi friends! 

I had a goal of posting more but I have been struggling with what to write. Today as I was writing a list of things I still need for our training camp that is coming up SO quickly. It hit me, I am scared…honestly, terrified to leave. I have been waiting close to a year and the excitement of the unknown and the excitement to get out of Wyoming is starting to somewhat fade and the reality of what this trip actually means is starting to hit me. 

I am beyond privileged and even looking at my night time routine alone, I am just lucky to live the life I live. I have my candles, my weighted blanket, my chill playlist, and all the pillows. When I wake up I have my coffee, my workout routine, my gluten free and sugar free options, and my car I can get in and go to my favorite coffee place that happens to be 45 minutes away. I can just leave if I wanted to get away by myself. Friends by no means is this a pity party and the tone of this, as much as I am scared, it’s positive. BUT I am giving all of this up, I am giving up my cozy night time routine, I am giving up my drives by myself, I am giving up my very comfortable life for 11 months. This scares me, as much as I am excited to travel and build relationships I have been craving for so long, and being in a community I have longed for. I have to sacrifice all the things to gain an experience. 

To go beyond the worldly things, items, I think of my relationship here. I love my family, my friends, my cute but annoying dog. Thinking of not being able to talk daily or see them weekly makes me sad. Even the comfort of knowing many and being known in my small town, to go to a place where I don’t know anyone, again scary! I know where God “takes away” or where it feels like He takes away, He teaches us, and He provides. After a year of feeling very alone and feeling like He has taken from me (mainly in the friendship department). I know these were relationships that needed to end. He’s not going to replace these with more toxic relationships, or even relationships I’m used to, but great relationships. 

I know this means I have to sacrifice the life I am used to living, even just for 11 months. It’s not going to be easy and at times I will want my car to just get away by myself.This is going to be one of the hardest but also one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. Although I am scared, Friday cannot come fast enough!