I was going to post a blog about everything that’s been going on the last 6 weeks but God, as always, had other plans. I have been holding back, fearful, and timid of sharing who God is actually to me. Hesitant to share what’s actually going on with my life and not just broad strokes. I’ve been trying to please the world and certain people, trying to stay in a space God is desperately calling me out of. 
I recently took over the World Race Instagram, which was an absolute blast. It wasn’t until that night I was really convicted about what I’ve been doing. Even in an environment where people welcome me to share what God is doing. I’m so fearful of backlash and if I am pleasing everyone else. I have been doing this my whole life and it is exhausting.

God has really been showing me, time and time again, how tired I am. Living a life of trying to please everyone but Him. It’s so hard not to want to conform to having the same social media, the same clothes, listening to everything everyone else is listening to. Really just trying to fit in and be accepted by a world where someone dictates whether you’re worthy enough. Worthy of fitting into a place where you don’t even like yourself, because in reality you’re not actually yourself. At some point I’ve had to ask myself why am  I so miserable? I have been given such a beautiful opportunity to share my story with this blog and through my photography. A space to fully be who God is creating me to be. Lately I have been holding back and really missing the point of what God has been teaching me. It’s scary completely leaving a life behind, no longer going through the motions and breaking unhealthy cycles. At some point though you have to just keeping walking forward without looking back. It’s a process and there is grieving an unknown of what to do when you break free from everything hold you back. God’s put a lot more on my heart so I will be posting a second part to other things He’s really been showing me the last 6 weeks!  So subscribe to stay updated with that! For pictures and other content showing my trip follow me on Instagram at abbey_spiker 

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support! I have a deadline coming up in the 28th and I’m $700 away from meeting it! Please pray and if your able to donate, you can do that through the donate tab on my page! Thanks again!!